Hard To Forget
by Duhx3Ashley
Summary: Inuyasha’s death takes a hard impact on Kagome, and her decisions. She goes back to her time, and after 3 entire years pass she’s once again pulled into the ancient well, back to the feudal era. Only things aren’t the way she remembered;full summary insid


Inuyasha's death takes a hard impact on Kagome, and her decisions. She goes back to her time, and after 3 entire years pass she's once again pulled into the ancient well, back to the feudal era. Only things aren't the way she remembered; and old friends have changed. A new demon reeks havoc in the feudal era, and when Kagome lays eyes on who it is, her entire world is turned upside down and inside out. She's sent into a world of complete betrayal, confusion, love, hate, and even killing. What mazes will Kagome take to get her old friendships back; to gain trust once again. What will she do to finally tell the one she loved, that she still loves him, and needs him alive and with her again? But what will she really do when love for someone else is formed in her already bruised and battered heart?

**Disclaimer-I do not own anyone from Inuyasha; though I'd very much like to. **

**Okay, the summary isn't that good; I know. But I have this whole fanfic planned in my mind, and it's going to be good, promise. Lots of romance and fluff for those of you who like it. Although some of you are probably wondering how I'm going to manage that one when Inuyasha is like, dead. But no worries; I got it all planned out. **

**So I hope you read this, and like it. The first chapter might be a little slow though, so if it is I'm sorry. **

**Oh, and one more thing-First chapter is going to be in Kagome's POV, but the rest of the story hopefully wont be. Its just, the first chapter sounds better in her POV. haha**

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Chapter 1: I Wont Say Goodbye

The steaming hot water from the shower head hit my body like small missiles. It burned at first, but after a while my sore body got used to the burning water and it actually started to feel good. It numbed the sore parts of my legs and arms, making it feel as though the soreness in my body didn't exist anymore. My hair clung to my back as it soaked in the steaming hot water. A hot shower always felt good; regardless of the occasion or when you were taking it. It soothed you in ways other things couldn't.

I inhaled deeply and leaned myself forwards, my hands stretched out in front of me resting flatly against the tiled wall of the shower. My head hung down, causing my hair to slide over my shoulders and hang as well. I believed a hot shower could cure everything; well…almost everything. The steaming hot water couldn't magically form inside my head and wash away the memory's that were stored there; the good or the bad ones. Nor could it simply run its steamy self over old ugly scars and make them magically vanish. And if they could, would I actually want it to be able to erase the memory's I held, and the scars that were forever on my body? I will admit, most of my scars are hidden from human eyes; most of them laid on my back. But those weren't the scars I really cared much for; those ones could stay imprinted on my body for all eternity for all I cared. The ones that hurt both physically and mentally stayed within my mind. They were like small movies clips that played over and over every single day I dared to open my eyes and try to live in a world full or reality and humans. And just like movies, some were good and some were bad. Some were okay, and some were just down right horrible. Some made me laugh and cry in joy, but some also made me scream and cry in fear and pain.

Were those the scars I wanted to leave me forever? Or did I want to be able to remember them? Remember the faces I saw within them; the friends I held deep within my heart that I no longer saw anymore. Did I want to have to remember that dreadful day; the worst day of my life for the rest of my life? Part of me was saying no, screaming it at me. Of course I didn't want to have to remember that. Blood and death, screaming and crying. Cruel words that shouldn't have been said. Horrible choices and decisions. Friendships being broken because of sheer stupidity. But at the same time, a part of me was also yelling yes, that I did want to remember this certain memory for the rest of my life. But wasn't that all because I had only heard those three words I had been dying to hear for how ever long I had known the hanyou for? Was I just being selfish on my own part. Was it only simply those three words that kept me clinging to this memory, replaying it in my mind everyday.

I felt my hands become fists against the tiled wall of the shower. Thinking of this, all of this was causing the memory to replay in my mind now; the horrible scene. The beginning of the battle, when all looked like it was going to end good. Then the ending of the battle when my hopes were killed, and all ended horrible and changed _everything _in my life.

"No!" I heard the word rush out of my mouth before it was even thought of inside my mind. Tears were slowly sliding down my cheeks, even with the water running I knew I was crying. "Inuyasha…" his name escaped through my partly opened lips, along with a sob and then a horrid choking noise. I could feel my knees begin to shake. Not good. Quickly, I pushed myself forward off the wall of the shower and slammed my hand against the nozzle of the shower.

Inhaling deeply, I stepped out of the shower and grabbed my baby blue towel off the sink. Wrapping it around my body, I shoved the door of the bathroom open and rushed to my bedroom before someone in the small house would notice the visible tears, and the blotchy redness of my now blurry eyes.

My bedroom door slammed closed behind me with a definite _click._ Once the soft sound of the click hit my ears, I fell to my knees; hard. But the pain didn't register within my body, only the aching pain of my heart did. Without realizing exactly what it was that I was doing, I pulled the towel tighter against my body and sank sullenly down to my carpeted floor. I laid there curled into a small ball crying; like I used to do when I was younger and scared. I felt safe rolled into a tight small ball; like no one could get into it and break through my barrier that was formed into my own mind.

Closing my eyes and squeezing them tightly to stay closed felt like a good idea. But I was wrong, in fact it was a horrible idea…

The scream that seemed to escape my partly opened mouth on its own accord was loud and harsh. Full of pain and anguish. My body slammed itself against my bed on its own as my scream finally subsided into yet another horrid sob, and then a chocking noise. Soon, I was coughing so hard that I didn't even realize someone had been pounding on my door with a great amount of force. Not until my coughing finally came to a stop did I hear my mothers frightened voice on the other side of my door calling my name frantically.

"Kagome? Kagome dear, are you okay? Kagome!" Her voice was becoming more and more worried the longer I attempted to ignore it. I sat on the floor, hoping she'd go away like she usually would. But of course luck wasn't on my side, and I could hear the soft _click_ as my door betrayed me and let my mother peer in, a worried look more then visible on her face. I could tell the moment she laid eyes on me that I must have looked just as bad as I was feeling. Soaking wet, hair plastered to my shoulders, neck, and cheeks. My eyes must have been a hideous puffy red mess, along with my nose. "Oh Kagome…" my mothers voice faded into a soft whisper as she practically glided across my bedroom floor and let herself drop down in front of me.

I didn't bother to push her away when I felt the warmth of her arms wrap around me. I didn't bother to pull away when she pulled me into a tight motherly hug. I didn't bother to protest when she finally let me go, wiped my still falling tears from my face, and then slowly brushed my wet hair off my face, neck and shoulders. I didn't feel the need to act like I wanted disown my mother right now; she was the only reason as to why I was still sane at this moment. The only reason why I was able to find just a slight bit of joy in my life anymore.

And even now, when she knew what was wrong, what would never leave my mind she didn't taunt me with one hundred questions. Or the usual, "its going to be okay," bullshit parents or friends would normally tell you. Because, even my mom, knew that deep down inside it wasn't going to be okay. It was never going to be okay. That damned memory from three years ago was always going to haunt me, always going to keep creeping up on me when ever I thought my life was about to brighten.

It seemed like hours when my mother finally left my room, telling me she was going to go down stairs and make me some tea. The time that had passed gave me the strength back to finally dry my body off, and get into some clean clothe. I didn't want tea, so instead of going down stairs like I had promised, I slowly crawled into my bed and pulled the covers over my slender body. Before I could register what was going on, my mind pulled me into a restless sleep.

I can't say if I had dreamt or not, because I didn't remember anything once I awoke; or at least not anything from the time I fell asleep to the moment I woke up. Sometimes I could feel myself wishing that I wouldn't never wake up. It felt like I was practically forcing my body to just fall into a deeper sleep, a sleep that would never allow my eyes to open again. Crazy, huh?

With a quick glance at my window, I realized I had slept the whole day away and that it was now night. It was also snowing, I could see the soft glowing white of the snowflakes as they flittered to the floor silently.

I felt my mouth tug at an attempt to smile, but the smile never came. Even as I continued to watch the snow in silence as it piled on itself. Even when the thought have not having to go to school tomorrow occurred to me, a smile didn't come. I was miserable and I knew it. I was also sick and tired of being miserable, I was sick of the pain it brought with it.

My jaw locked together tightly as tears welled up in my eyes. No. I was done, I was done with this regret I brought with me everywhere. I was done making my mom feel sad about me, about the way I was beginning to live my life.

I tossed my blanket off of me, and hung my legs over the side of my bed letting my feet meet with my carpeted floor.

I was done my sadness.

Slowly, I stood to my feet. As if on auto-pilot, my legs maneuvered me towards my bedroom door, my hand falling silently onto the door knob and turning it so my door opened with a slight creaking noise.

I was done with my regret.

It was as if my mind knew where I was going the moment I took step outside of my bedroom. I found myself taking the stairs down to the small living room, then turning left to the kitchen, and then walking right to the front door where my feet slipped slowly into my school shoes. Once again my hand was falling upon another door knob and pulling. The cold from outside hit me hard; warmth clashing against cold wasn't a good combination. And it made it worse without a jacket or sweater on to block the cold. I didn't dwell on this for to long. My body was once again on the move. The soft crunching sounds of the noise beneath my feet was the only thing that broke the silence.

Just like I had done in the past, I whipped open the sliding doors to the old small shrine that concealed the ancient well. I didn't walk in, not right away. I awaited the feeling of misery to strike me like it would have done in the past. But as I waited nothing came. Nothing but curiosity. It had been so long since I had dared to even be this close to the well. Since the day I had come back for good, I had never entered this place again. No one had. The top of the well, which sat lazily on the side of the well, was evidence that no one had dared to take step in this place. It wasn't just hell for me, but for everyone else in my family as well because they had to deal with what came with the well. Me.

Inhaling deeply, I took my first step forward. Then the next, and then the next until I was standing firmly right in front of the well. I wanted things to change, I wanted my life to be normal again. I wanted to be your typical 18 year old teenage girl who was in her last year of high school, actually enjoying it.

I let my hands meet with the cold stone of the thin door of the well. With much effort I managed to heave it back into its natural place; right on top of the well. I stared dumbly down at the now sealed well.

This was it. I was done.

I was done with my past.

As I turned my back to finally leave this old place, and enter the new beginning of my new life a harsh scream met my ears. I knew immediately where it came from, and exactly who it was that was screaming.

But how?

My body turned around automatically and fell upon the well that now seemed to be glowing. The lid was shacking so harsh that it began to slide right off the top of the well. And now I could see that the well was actually glowing and it wasn't all just a part of my imagination. Then the scream came again, and I couldn't help it. My legs lunged me forward so I slammed right into the well, my head snapping forward causing me to look right down into the dark musty whole. I could feel my hair slide past my shoulders, and hang beside my face. Tears welled up in my eyes as I began to shake my head.

"No…please…"

The scream came once again, and this time I couldn't fight it anymore. I let my body slip over the side of the well, praying with every thing in my body that I would just hit the bottom and by some chance just die of the impact. But I didn't. Instead, the old overwhelming feeling of going back in time took over my body, and not much longer did the dense light begin to form around me. I was going back, back in time once again.

I was done with my past…

Or so I had believed.

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**Okay, so I know this wasn't the best first chapter, but I tried, okay? Lol  
****But like I promised this will get better. I have it all planned out.  
Oh, and also...tell me if you liked this in Kagomes POV please.  
I'm still debating on whether to keep it in her POV or not. So let me know please. Thanks **

**Anyways, please r/r I'd really appreciate it. Thanks a lot.**


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